He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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