shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
