I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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