when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
