Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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