he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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