I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
