I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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