I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
