I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
