@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
