So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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