I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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