I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
