i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
