I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
there is puke in my bra ... again
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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