weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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