yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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