I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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