She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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