you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
