Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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