I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
