i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
