We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
