Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
