guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
