I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize