Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
