What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
