I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
