Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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