Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
