her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
