Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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