oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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