You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Boobs are out for the taking
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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