Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
