When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
