It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
