Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Randomize
