I wish I could punch you in the face.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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