My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
