My nipple is on Facebook.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
