OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
