After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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