happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
