he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's rum buckets o'clock
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
