I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
