i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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