Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
